8 Tips to Help You Change Your Own Behavior

Tips to Help You Change Your Own Behavior

One of the biggest challenges as a parent is learning how to manage your own behavior so that you can be the best influence on your children, instead of their worst influences. To help you do this, follow these eight tips to help you change your own behavior to help your kids succeed in the classroom and at home.

1) Identify the Problem

Before you can change your behavior, you need to know what—exactly—needs changing. If you're feeling exhausted and overwhelmed by your kids, it might be because they wake up too early in the morning. Or perhaps they’re watching too much TV after school. Having a clear vision of what behavior needs improving will keep you focused and motivated during your journey toward change.

2) Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

It’s easy to tell your kid to be a leader and play with other kids, but how do you change yourself? If you want your kid to have good social skills, then it’s not enough for you to just tell them what is socially acceptable. They need people around them who model behavior, too. That means having some dinner parties and helping organize play dates for their friends. Don’t worry about being a social butterfly—just make an effort on your child’s behalf and show them that it matters.

3) Do Nothing

If you’re worried that your child is out of control, try not doing anything. That’s right: Take a step back, and stop reacting when he starts acting up. When he sees that his outbursts aren’t getting him anywhere—and start realizing how irritating they are for everyone else—he might just quiet down on his own. In many cases, simply being ignored can be enough to get kids to change their behavior. Kids will naturally want your attention (that’s what human beings crave most) so if you make yourself unavailable when they act up, it may lead them to reflect on why no one is paying attention and help them realize how their behavior has become destructive for all involved.

4) Buy Them Their Favorite Candy

Getting your kids hooked on healthy behavior is tough. Don’t fight it head-on; let them enjoy some of their favorite candies and sneak in some healthy habits at the same time. Buy your child’s favorite candy and place it somewhere only they can access it (maybe a drawer or safe) for special occasions, like when they get good grades on a test or sports practice went well. They might feel so special about having their own candy that they make sure to eat just one piece a day. And when you hear them say, I need my special candy! tell them they have no more left—and then offer up an alternative, like ice cream with fresh fruit.

5) Start Off Easy

If you’re trying to change your behavior, one of your biggest obstacles will be your own brain. In order to fight that internal resistance, start small. Do things that don’t require a lot of effort at first and then build up from there. If you feel overwhelmed by what you need to do, try breaking it down into smaller steps so that it feels less intimidating. It also helps if you take gradual steps towards achieving your goal over time; that way, if you do slip up, you can pick up right where you left off instead of having backtrack in order to stay on track with your goal or habit change (in other words, make sure each tiny step is a lasting part of your lifestyle).

6) Use Positive Reinforcement

Reinforce positive behavior. When your child does something you’ve asked him or her to do, be sure to tell them how proud you are of their effort and results. Positive reinforcement isn’t just for kids; parents also need a pat on the back once in a while! Allowing your child (or yourself) a bit of self-congratulation is helpful in reinforcing positive behavior. Positive reinforcement can help prevent negative behavior from rearing its ugly head again in future situations—your enthusiasm will surely make an impression on your child (or yourself!).

7) Delegate Responsibility

When you delegate, you offload responsibilities onto your children. This allows you time for yourself and can help your children mature. In addition, it's important for children to practice responsibility at a young age so they can develop into adults who are self-sufficient. Studies show that teenagers with at least one experience working in an adult-like position have better job skills and are more confident when they enter adulthood. If you want your kids to do chores, make sure they're responsible for specific jobs or tasks rather than just running errands throughout your home. For example, let them choose which chore they will do each day (every other day) so that they learn how to be responsible and make decisions on their own—rather than constantly looking for direction from you.

8) Be Patient

Discipline is a learned behavior, not a trait you either have or don’t. And it’s definitely not something that can be forced. If your child isn’t interested in sitting still and listening, it doesn’t mean he or she won’t listen when they get older; it just means they need more time to learn how. The best thing you can do is give your child as much patience as possible so he or she learns how to sit through an entire lesson.


As a parent, you are your children’s role model. And because of that, your own behavior has a direct impact on theirs. The reverse is also true—if your children don’t exhibit certain behaviors, there’s a good chance you will not either. So if you want to raise respectful kids who do their homework and get along with others, it's important for you as parents to get your own act together first! Identify bad habits that might negatively influence your children and make an effort to change them into better ones. This isn't always easy or fun but it can definitely be rewarding and lead your child in a positive direction.



Previous Post
Next Post